I read The Daily Cal’s Sex on Tuesday column as an undergrad, and thought it was something of note. When I came back on campus a few years later and attempted to read the same column, now written by a different girl (if there was ever a Sex on Tuesday boy, I missed it) and quickly concluded that a 20-year-old has no business writing sex advice. Via College Insurrection I found that a girl by the name of Nadia Cho, now in custody of Sex on Tuesday, made a quite a splash proclaiming:
[H]aving sex on campus is actually very doable, and it’s lots of fun. It’s also surprisingly easy.
Note to the copy editor: “doable” connotes relative ease. To avoid redundancy, strike out the last sentence. Besides, even if we take our self-described “mischievous” author for her own word, sex on campus is not that easy. She chose the evening before Thanksgiving when the campus is “marvelously empty” for her adventure, but try doing it the day before the first final when everyone and his mother is at The Stacks studying. Plus, she makes it pretty clear that neither she nor her unfortunate male partner actually had an orgasm. “I’m just not ambitious” — she explained. I dono… What she does with her body in the privacy of whatever is really none of my business, but I like my newspaper correspondents thorough and ambitious.
To be sure, Ms. Cho has the theory to back her no-orgasm sex practice:
[S]ex isn’t always about cumming and having orgasms. Sometimes it’s for shits and giggles. Having expectations and goals can ruin the fun of it.
She has lots of theory. For instance, she authoritatively states:
The risk of getting caught is what makes having sex in public so exciting. Without that, there wouldn’t be any novelty in doing it. It’s fun to challenge yourself to not make any noise while having sex.
Nadia devoted several paragraphs to encouraging her fellow students to make out in public places. Among her pearls:
Other than providing fun places to get down, Berkeley is the best place to explore your sexuality.
That sentence is a fine example of Berkeley undergrad writing. Presumably “the best place to explore your sexuality” is “fun [...] to get down”. Rewrite and shorten. The problem with undergraduates is that they get accustomed to getting paid by the word, so to say. In every humanities class, they absolutely have to stretch their pearls to make up 8 pages, which prevents them from developing an ability to write as they think. I shouldn’t pick on the columnist too much, I doubt I was any better when I was her age — although I wish I had more instruction.Ms. Cho continues:
Our school is a predominantly safe and accepting space with many places, people and resources to help you discover your sexual self.
“[P]redominantly safe”? As far as I can tell, “predominantly safe” means keep on the look out for creeps — as any woman should, anywhere. But then there is this:
It is the place where I learned what it means to be queer, to recognize the presence of patriarchy, to attempt polyamory and to become more confident in my sexuality so I could go ahead with new experiences — attending naked parties and orgies and writing a sex column, just to name a few.
Ah, the patriarchy! So that’s why Berkeley is not “safe” but merely “predominantly safe”, because there might be a patriarch roaming around somewhere.
Speaking of naked parties, are Nadia’s parents reading her world-famous column? Well, doh! Of course! Considering that the girl is in no hurry to get home the day before Thanksgiving, the point of this writing exercise is most likely to get her bill-paying (Korean? Patriarchal?) father know who’s the boss. I don’t suppose the column will hurt her employment chances, not in the Bay Area, where patriarchy no longer prevents us women from enjoying our sexuality, but does she really want every romantic interest from this day forward googling her name? And if she gets around to having a family, she has to presume that her kids will find out. I have some decade-old silliness attached to my name floating online, nothing of sex on campus caliber, to be sure, but enough to dread the day when my kids will enter my name into a search engine.
Ms. Cho concludes her story:
Learn to appreciate your sexy side and experience a few frisky things during your time here. Take the Female Sexuality DeCal [...]
That, my friends, is the difference between a Sex on Tuesday columnist and her audience: Female Sexuality DeCal. Whatever it takes to have their pretty little brains occupied.
UPDATE: Linked by Doug Ross. Thanks!