Michelle Does Oscar

I didn’t watch the Oscar’s, but I did take a peak at the fashion as the event was happening.  i didn’t know there was anything else to it.

Imagine my surprise when the following morning I found out that Moochelle presented the picture of the year.  Enter Rush:

Well, the movie Lincoln?  That’s about Obama, everybody knows that.  Who won the best movie?  Argo.  The Ben Affleck movie.  And I’ll tell you why it won.  It won because Hollywood was portrayed as heroes, about the 1979 Iran hostage crisis. [...]

And, see, this was a snub for Obama because his campaign ad was Zero Dark Thirty, how he got bin Laden.  Didn’t win.  For some reason Hollywood’s mad at Steven Spielberg. I think it’s Steve Jobs syndrome. [...]

Now, one thing we do know is that Moochelle’s appearance, her hijacking the Epidemic Awards last night, was Harvey Weinstein’s idea. So the consensus is that Weinstein wanted to show everybody that he’s bigger and more powerful than Spielberg. Speilberg got Clinton, but Clinton’s a has-been. Clinton’s yesterday. Harvey was able to get Moochelle. So Harvey called the White House; they planned it. The White House agreed to it, and I think one of the reasons is, again, they got snubbed. They got snubbed. Obama’s campaign ad didn’t win, and his autobiographical movie didn’t win. [...]

There was some real irony last night that zipped by and blew by a lot of people. It might not have blown by you in this audience. The best picture award last night went to a movie named Argo, which was about what?

The rescue of embassy personnel under attack in Iran. The wife of the commander-in-chief who failed to rescue four Americans at an embassy/consulate in Benghazi presented it and talked about how important it was and how necessary it is and how great it was and all that. Now, I don’t know how many people got that, but this bunch — this administration — failed in rescuing Americans under attack. And the wife of the president who failed presented the Oscar to the movie who won the best picture award about a successful rescue of embassy personnel from Iran in 1979.

Not to mention that Iran is going nuclear.  It’s as if the Screen Actors Guild is asking the movie-goers if the ‘Bamster worse than Carter.  It doesn’t end there.

The shine of the dress is picked up by the silver lipstick and the gold detail on the uniforms of the military personnel behind Ma’am. That’s what I call attention to detail!

Iranian TV ‘shopped short sleeves on Mrs. O’s trademark sleeveless gown.  If they were to draw Khomeinista wrist-covering sleeves it would be one thing.  I would happily take it to mean “Cover up, you Hollywood whore!”  But they didn’t, so it’s more of a “give it up already” kind of fashion b*tch-slapping.

Too bad the Persians didn’t trimmed her bangs

And Mooch, by the time your husband is done unilaterally disarming *his* country (is it the 80s revival or what?) you might just need more cover.

Get with the program!

Wanted: Humanoid First Lady

Michelle Obama’s inaugural get-ups weren’t at their eye-popping best.  And yet in her usual display of opulence FLOTUS 44 went through something like twenty five changes, which, of course give plenty of fodder to your humble blogger.

Lets start with her pre-party children’s inaugural ensemble.  While an ostrich might be preferable to a peacock, it’s still an ostrich.  Hi-Lo hemline is easy to overdo, and if anyone knows about overdoing, it’s Michelle.  Unfortunately, this McQueen shirt is one of those garments that one pretty much has to be a model to get away with.

FLOTUS might need a little extra room in the fabulous upper arm area

On to the outdoor daytime inaugural look.  For the afternoon festivities MO wore a helmet and a pair of blood-stained gloves.

It’s not just that I don’t particularly like the coat because tiny geometric print punctuates the seams, and some of the panels are wider than others, which makes her look a bit odd.  All in all the coat is not bad, especially considering the source.  But her helmet hair, together with the stiff coat lines, the shiny belt, the pointy shiny toe, the fuchsia gloves and the cool tones made her look like a space alien about to use her mechanical hands to repel away a bitter clinger or two.

I want my hair to look like a wig too!

Because so many people already think she’s a meanie, she should generally get away from severe looks.  In this particular case, incorporating warm browns, round toe shoes, or, like the presidential lip-syncher, soft curls would go a long way.

Easy good looks

At the ball the First Lady of Fabulous wore a shiny (doh!) LBD and a red gown.

The red piece is nice, which means that according to the media it’s the best thing that ever happened to the office of the First Lady

Last time she wore a white dress with fluffy trimming and a thick strap across one shoulder.

Virgin white. I’m not a fan of First Ladies wearing white for inaugural balls. What is it, an occasion to renew your vows?

I can see the thinking here.  Since she already wore white, what’s left is black and red, and it can’t be black or red, she has to have both.  Reminds me of how our ever-sophisticated First Lady wore a gold dress for hubby’s Nobel “Peace” Prize ceremony and then a silver dress for the reception.  Based on her sartorial choices alone, Michelle Obama is much more of an open book than her husband.

And besides her dresses?  What is Michelle known for if not flaunting riches and telling working women how to raise kids?  Take away these two and all that’s left is a gal who’s only proud of her country on the occasions of her husband’s inaugurals.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: I totally missed it.  It’s Romulan:

Ann Romney for A Better J Crew Catalog

Did Ann Romney’s teal dress erase the gender gap?  Our future First Lady wore the dress by a designer whose name I will not mention to the foreign policy debate at Lynn University.  The color popped on TV screens and complimented her complexion.  O’s fabulous wifie, inexplicably, wore a gray cocktail lace dress by the same designer.

A woman who knows what works for her

I’m ready for a First Lady with bigger ambitions than to serve as a walking billboard for brown-nosing fashion industry insiders.  One problem with designers getting too cozy with politicians is that designers are typically nuts, and not in a good way.  Fox News reported that the notorious American Vogue editor Anna Wintour enlisted designers like Marc Jacobs to create Obama 2012 merchandize. There are many things wrong  with Marc Jacobs (and I don’t mean his bizarre style).  For instance, he knowingly hires underage models, the practice Anna Wintour pledged to stamp out.

In February 2012, as the American Presidential campaign was gathering momentum, Barack Obama backer Marc Jacobs (center) sent two underage models (on his left and his right) down the runway. Forget Michelle, perhaps he should outfit Barack

Jackie Kennedy was a fashion plate, but she was the youngest First Lady in history.  For this reason alone there will probably never be “the next Jackie”.  Matronly Obama’s sartorial options are limited by her age and the imperfections of her figure.  Every time her consultants put her in an inappropriate outfit, her faux pas are amplified by her status.  She comes across as somebody who tries too hard, and fails, and makes fool of herself and her office.  Michelle should have stopped competing with Jackie a long time ago.

Who can forget this one?

It’s not just that Michelle won’t leave fashion alone; the fashion industry that won’t let go of her.  Wintour seems hell-bent on dragging FLOTUS’s formidable behind across the finish line, and The Daily Mail has pictures to prove it (hat tip to Leslie Loftis).  Michelle Malkin has a great essay on the little fascist Wintour commanding fashion insiders to back Obama, in the process alienating half of their customers.  Overtly political designers whose names, again, I’m not going to mention, should keep their fingers crossed that conservative women can’t care less about their little political tantrums and will buy their product regardless.

There are rebels in the industry, though.  Malkin quotes the terrific designer and brave man Bradley Scott:

Young New York City designer Bradley Scott also spoke up against ideological “persecution” in his industry. “It’s really offensive for me, as a designer, to be issued an unveiled threat by someone who could exert an enormous amount of influence over my customers, store buyers and magazine editors,” he told me on Tuesday. “I for one want absolutely nothing to do with this attack on women. This pressure upon designers should offend every woman in this country, not just the conservatives.”

Of course, not every fashion house supports the ‘Bamas in order to placate a queen bee or because, being artists, they are mad as hatters.  Outfitting a First Lady is an honor, even if her taste is questionable.  Early on Michelle indicated willingness to incorporate J Crew in her get ups, and the fashion house went crazy for her.  Michelle’s consultants figured she needs to wear color (because she’s black?), and the J Crew catalog exploded with blinding hues.  I don’t suppose they will design for Ann Romney, but if Michelle is gone, they will move on to a different aesthetic, which is a kind of progress.

Their November 2012 production. Somehow I doubt many American women would like to wear this pallet

P.S. Like his wife, Barack knows how to stay classy.

P.P.S. I don’t see a whole lot Obama yard signs in our bluest blue Alameda county.  It’s not just my town; I go to Oakland regularly, and last weekend I was in Berkeley (yes, Berkeley).  I don’t see a lot of bumper stickers either.  Not much love for Romney here either, of course, but lots of people put up local election signs in their yards.  I somehow don’t recall seeing a lot of Obama yard signage and bumper stickers in 08, but last presidential election cycle merchandise like tot bags and onesies was all the rage.  That was before Anna Wintour became O’s super-duper bundler.  I guess the glorious trendsetter was too busy with September Issue back then.

Happy Birthday Mr President One Year Later

A year ago we celebrated the President’s 50th Birthday with the top 50 get-ups of Michelle Obama.  Since Barack Obama held yet another Birthday fundraiser yesterday, I feel obliged to review the last 366 days of wardrobe of our First Lady of Fashion.  It’s a lot of outfits to parse through, and I’m lazy.  So since I blogged about MO’s style through the end of 2011, I’m going to chose Michelle’s most eye-popping outfit of 2012.

In March FLOTUS went on a children’s TV channel wearing nothing but a see-through top and shiny tight pants.  Eye-popping indeed.  Still, I want to find another look because the pictures of her Nickelodeon appearance had been around the internet and back.

Doesn’t shock anymore

A few days ago Michelle attended a British royal Olympic function in a 7K J. Mendel jacket, which is by now as ubiquitous as her Nickelodeon look.

I give her points for covering her shoulders, but the sleeves cut her oh-so-fabulous arms where they are the widest

Can’t say I like it, but looking at the picture of the model I see what the designer had in mind.  It’s the slopping white line across the chest that makes the garment.  On Michelle, however, the sleeves point upward, and the line is broken.  I never understood why she doesn’t get her clothes custom fitted.

The model wore it better

Considering that the majority of Americans still think that we are in a recession, and that the occasion is the Olympics, she could have recycled the gold medal in a cardigan look she spotted for hubby’s Nobel “Peace” Prize ceremony.

Then there is a boob belt siting in May:

Not sure why this dress need a belt, let along a boob belt, and what this belt has to do with the string of pearls. And why she wore those pearls to begin with.  The First Lady has the unfortunate tendency to over-accessorize

In my opinion Michelle wore her most eye-popping look on David Letterman’s show in March.  She chose a sharp outfit by Preen:

Nice proportions, bold color

Unfortunately, the dress was hard to wear, and this is what we saw on TV:

Michelle’s body viciously sliced into rectangles, with rear end and thighs most prominent

So, OK, they didn’t quite think it through, although somebody on Michelle’s massive stuff should be thinking about what looks good when seated in nighttime TV chairs.  And, again, what’s with the accessory?  The Preen design was all about clean lines.

Why did she need to ruin it with the glittery pin?

In case you are wondering, MO chatted with Letterman about raising her daughters with South Chicago values.  I wonder if those are the same as “the Chicago values” her pal Rahm lauded when he expressed his desire to banish Chick-fil-A from the Windy City but embraced the race-monger Louis Farrakhan.  Of course, at the time of the airing of the Letterman show, BO was officially against gay marriage.  Presumably he was (and still is) pro-Farrakhan.

UPDATE: Linked by Temple of Mut — thank you!

Style and Fashion Pick-Me-Up: The Great Hemline Recession

As you might have guessed, I’m trying to avoid the subject of primaries.

We went to Vegas in early January.  We’ve been going every year for DH’s Birthday, and each year Sin City seems increasingly more depressing.  On my first trip I was dazzled by lights and sounds, and all the splendid cheesiness.  Now I only notice stains on the carpet, and the typical twenty-year-old casino has plenty of those.

I don’t think Vegas unions are doing any favors to the cocktail waitresses many of whom look shabbier than the carpets they walk.  Vegas is teeming with waitresses verging on retirement age, and the hot arid climate and frequent night shifts obviously didn’t do them any favors.  Yet casinos that can’t fire a woman because she’s too old have them squeezing their butts into uniforms that are one step from a burlesque show.

One would think nobody wants to look at them, but evidently some visitors find the aging wait-stuff inspirational.  I spotted a septuagenarian clad in a sequin micromini dragging her stiletto mules over the Strip’s cobblestones.  That lady might’ve not aged badly, but the get up obviously intended for somebody who still gets carded, drew attention to every wrinkle.

I’m glad soon-to-be-twice-divorced Heidi Klum is not hosting Project Runway All Stars.  To be sure, she is a better host than that other model, given how Ms. Klum is an authentic airhead.  Yet she makes horrible as a judge because the word got out that she likes to show her legs, and the competing designers construct their clothes to placate her.  Anywho, it’s my conspiracy theory.  She does have a nice figure, but perhaps a forty-year-old mother of four can try a different aesthetic.

Two weeks ago the episode’s theme was a night at the opera, and the winner Austin Scarlett described his gown as modest.  The judge Isaac Mizrahi (a far better designer than the regular Michael Kors) agreed with the description.  In absolute terms there is nothing modest about a bare-back gold dress, but perhaps what Scarlett and Mizrahi meant to say is that the design is seductive rather than slutty.  A very good development, I think.

Austin's opera gown. I'm not loving the black tulle. Does the gown need more of it, should it be heavier weight, a little less translucent or am I just not getting the concept? What attracts me to the gown is the black and white cinema vibe

I liked the runner up Michael Costello who, I thought, was on the trend and elegant.  Like everything high fashion both designs lack practicality.  If I’m going to the opera, I’m assuming the hall will be cold, so I’ll need a coat.

The runner up: Michael Costello's gown

Aside from the full length opera gowns, Project Runway is still turning out skirts so short, we’d have to wear pants underneath.  The entire garment industry seems to be stuck on pants and impossibly short skirts.  A year or so ago we were promised falling hemlines which were supposed to signal another year of recession because allegedly there is some sort of a relationship between the state of the economy and the length of skirts.

One of the looks from the Spring 2011 Zac Posen collection when the falling hemline was forcasted. Am I expected to believe someone finds it attractive?

I lived through the 90s economic boom in the Bay Area.  I thought the variety of styles was opulent.  Virtually every collection featured a mini, a long skirt, a knee length skirt or — if none of that worked — a pant.  And, mind you, an average mini hanging in the stores in the “irrational exuberant” 90s offered more coverage than today’s Heidi.

Although I always gravitated to more feminine styles, I started to wear pants when I had to take babies to the park.  For a few years I held on to my maternity skirts.  Last year I finally decided to ditch my postpartum gear and buy a nice practical skirt.  Easier said than done.  The skirts were either so long that I’d have to hold them up with both my hands or, in most cases, so short there was no way I could bend over.  The Great Hemline Recession look.

In the last quarter the economy might have picked up a little, but the hemlines fell — at least on some catwalks.  I can now buy a pencil skirt, for which I credit Duchess Catherine who made a statement of elegant mid-length dresses, and not Barack Obama or the invisible hand.  Hopefully the trend sticks.

The classic cinema looks has been spotted on runways.

Spring 2012 Anna Sui

Spring 2012 Banana Republic

Similarly, a structured mid-length pencil skirt was featured in Vogue’s most wanted:

Anna Wintour approves

While young people have more disposable income, I’m surprised that there isn’t a bigger clothing market for middle-age women.  One would think that the success of the fabulously overpriced Anthropologie where, at least according to their product reviews, women of all ages like to shop, shows that quite a few of us in the 30+ demographic like something chic and feminine.  An American Housewife Formerly in London had similar thoughts on interior design.

When I was growing up we all had young beautiful mothers, and we were very proud of them.  While I obviously can’t turn back the clock, I would like to show my kids that a middle age woman can take care of her appearance.  What I don’t want to do is to wear skirts so short, I’d pass them when I was in my 20s.

Style and Fashion Pick-Me-Up: RIP Moammar Gaddafi

Dictators are a peculiar bunch, and Gaddafi’s peculiarity was fashion.  He started on the safe side to be sure, but that’s not uncommon among absolute rulers.

Gadhafi and friends.

Hard to tell, but I’m pretty sure he’s already wearing eyeliner.

The old drag queen was notorious for aging poorly.  Here is an account of one plastic surgery that’s just too entertaining to pass:

It was well past midnight when the Brazilian surgeon says he was escorted deep inside a bunker in the Libyan capital.

His assignment: to shave years off Moammar Gadhafi’s appearance by removing fat from his belly and injecting it into his wrinkled face. The Libyan leader also got hair plugs.

“He told me that he had been in power for 25 years at that time, and that he did not want the young people of his nation to see him as an old man,” Dr. Liacyr Ribeiro recalled. “I recommended a facelift, but he refused.”

The secretive four-hour procedure in 1995 was done, at Gadhafi’s insistence, with local anesthesia because he wanted to remain alert. Midway through, the Libyan leader stopped to have a hamburger.

Gadhafi was worried a facelift would be too noticeable, so he opted for the less radical procedure, the plastic surgeon told The Associated Press.

“I warned Gadhafi that the effects of the operation I performed would last for about five years, that it had an expiration date after which the skin would sag and the wrinkles would reappear,” Ribeiro said.

“He said he would call me if he needed me to come back,” and about five years ago there was such a request, but Ribeiro had a family obligation. “They never called me again,” he said.

At the time of the surgery, Gadhafi was 53, but Ribeiro said he looked at least 10 years older. A photo taken at the time shows the smiling doctor posing next to the Libyan leader, who wore a white suit, floral shirt and had pronounced wrinkles crisscrossing his face and neck.

After the procedure, “he looked like a 45-year-old man,” the doctor said.

Ribeiro insists he is speaking out now only to provide insight into a man about whom little is known, and certainly not to boast.

“Gadhafi is not looking very good these days,” said Ribeiro, noting that the 68-year-old leader has appeared jowly in recent appearances, his skin puffy, loose and deeply creased. “To let potential patients know that I operated on him would be counterproductive.”

One suspects the colonel wore his trademark sunglasses to hide the hot mess around his eyes.

If not a facelift, he should have had lip augmentation.

The photo above was snapped in Belarus where Gadhafi visited his fellow dictator Alexander Lukashenko.  In nearby Russia he looked decidedly Biblical with his earth-toned robes.

With Russian shadow Prime Minister Vladimir Putin.

A pop of royal purple donned for a hand-in-hand walk with Egyptian strongman Hosni Mubarak.  Note Mubarak’s tie.  Ties are never worn by Islamists who consider them too Western.

East meets West... or something. The bodyguard on the left is a bit hefty.

You think it was easy to be Gaddafi, but it wasn’t, it’s really wasn’t.  The robes have to fit just right, and require multiple adjustment, sometimes on the UN podium.

Careful there: Make sure the folds don't cover the map of Africa pin.

Speaking of accessories, the feather-like object of unidentifiable purpose, the gold-trimmed cap, the map of Africa; it’s all there:

Oh, and the robe is is looking like it's made of a costly fabric. Living high!

Gaddafi’s style is the kind that elevates the onlooker, that makes him think.  Consider this curious juxtaposition of hippie tie dye and national flags.  What is the message here: World without borders or nationalism?

And what do we make out of the checkered hat? Very intellectual, he.

Well, hippies are not opposed to third world nationalisms, no matter how murderous, so perhaps there is no contradiction.  But just when it’s decided that Gaddafi was a die hard African patriot, he turns out to be a multiculturalist.  Here he is, channeling Rasputin, but in a slightly more disheveled than the Mad Monk, with a goatee, and, for some reason, on his trip to France:

This hat with a pair of designer sunglasses, what do you think?

In wearable art department we have this marshal caftan, worn in Italy, accessorized with a picture of a Libyan nationalist fighter of some sort captured and killed by his Italian colonial masters.  Dissertation idea alert: Sartorial expressions of temporal and spacial reality of post-colonialism in pre-liberation Libya.  If the last sentence doesn’t sound like English — well, it’s not.

Sharp! I'm sure this outfit was duly admired at Trinity United.

The high end upholstery look below could serve as inspiration to the oddly monochromatic Restoration Hardware.

Way more fashion forward than the guard.

And who do you like better, the gentlemen who can blend with the curtains or alleged “Palestinian students”, presumably female, caught protesting Gaddafi a few months ago?

How quickly they forget...

Although occasionally his outfits did seem a bit over-designed,

Knots, and shreds, and stripes -- oh my!

this fashionista knew how to strike the right chord with an elegant white suite, accessorized with a simple black map of Africa (what else?) and a sheer shroud, also black.  He could model it, too.  In the photo below, Moammar’s picture-perfect absolutist hand wave reveals the see-through nature of the fabric.

Sharing the stage with Barack and Ban.

And oh boy, could he to rock a dress-down look!

Olive military shirt with a green map of Africa and a simple gray shawl -- in case it gets chilly in the late pm hours. All that against some sort of desert hippie background and, of course, spotting a pair of styling shades.

I originally thought about doing a different pick-me-up, but there was only one Colonel Gaddafi, and the occasion of his all too timely death should deserves a fashion special.

While the tyrant sat in his hole in North Africa, Russian hipsters, most likely of National-Bolshevik extract, held several rallies in his support.  This young participant holds a poster proclaiming “Peace to the world!” and “Oil to the people!” (could be translated as “Oil to the nation!”)  “Peace to the world!” was the slogan plastered on every other tall building in the late Soviet days, probably because Soviet Union never invaded its neighbors or or displaced nations.  “Oil to the people” is reminiscent of Lenin’s “Bread to the workers, land to the peasants, peace to the nations!”

I wear my sunglasses in the rain: The fact that he got the right color umbrella (Libyan green) would fill the late colonel's heart with pride.

Style and Fashion Pick-Me-Up: Bargain Shopping

Michelle’s Target shopping excursion must have polled well because they are at it again (h/t DH):

She told Al Roker of the “Today” show that she recently went to Petco to buy food for the first dog, Bo. Nobody recognized her until she showed the cashier her credit card.

Mrs. Obama told Roker, “The cashier asked me, ‘Oh, what kind of dog is that?’ I said, ‘A Portuguese water dog.’ He didn’t recognize us because he didn’t expect that we would be in Petco.” She continued, “They’re looking right through you. They don’t know it’s me.”

This isn’t the first time the first lady has shopped on the sly. She made waves earlier this year when she was spotted shopping at Target. In her talk with Roker, she also referenced a few other places she may have visited. “They don’t expect to see me at Starbucks or at Chipotle,” she said.

The trips, she says, help her and her two daughters maintain a sense of normalcy.

I’m surprised Bo (what does that stand for, body odor?) doesn’t eat Whole Foods dog food, and I’m quite certain there are better places to get overpriced coffee than Starbucks.  Maintaining normalcy, however, must be a challenge with all the vacations Michelle lined up for her entourage.

I shop at Target because it offers nice styles and, for the most part, decent quality for a good price.  I have no respect for the First Lady’s Potemkin shopping trips because if I were as wealthy as her I’d shop elsewhere.  Act your income, Michelle.

Speaking of which, I went to TJ Maxx this week to buy some socks for the cold weather.  I was passing the shoe department and though: “When do they have good shoes at TJ’s.  Never!  I can check out what they have because I’m in no danger of actually finding anything I want.”  How wrong was I.

$39.99!

Betsy Johnson stilettos can go for ten times as much at Macy’s.  I wasn’t exactly looking for party shoes, and this style is not exactly the structured look favored this season.  But who cares, they are timeless, and I’ll sure get to wear them again and again.

On the other hand, why so cheap?  Are they made in China?  Nowhere on the shoe does it say where they are made, so they have to be made in China.  The top is satin, but the sole is leather.

Cute hearts, and cute metal plate.

But wait, on the other shoe it says “vero cuoio” in Italian.  Was one shoe made in Italy and another one in China?

"040" on the left is the price; I'm not lying about it.

I was trying to think of a reason not to buy the shoes.  Perhaps they are poorly made uncomfortable Chinese shoes.  So I tried them on… and the fit was perfect.  Sure, I don’t need another pair, but the are so easy to wear.  And I guess, I’m just sort of greedy this way.  Am I going to let another woman find this pair, wear them and brag?  No way!  And if I decide to leave the store and come back later the same day if I decide I really want the pair, there is a good chance that they’ll be gone.  That’s how hot they are.

Oh, and DH liked them.