Michelle Does Oscar

I didn’t watch the Oscar’s, but I did take a peak at the fashion as the event was happening.  i didn’t know there was anything else to it.

Imagine my surprise when the following morning I found out that Moochelle presented the picture of the year.  Enter Rush:

Well, the movie Lincoln?  That’s about Obama, everybody knows that.  Who won the best movie?  Argo.  The Ben Affleck movie.  And I’ll tell you why it won.  It won because Hollywood was portrayed as heroes, about the 1979 Iran hostage crisis. [...]

And, see, this was a snub for Obama because his campaign ad was Zero Dark Thirty, how he got bin Laden.  Didn’t win.  For some reason Hollywood’s mad at Steven Spielberg. I think it’s Steve Jobs syndrome. [...]

Now, one thing we do know is that Moochelle’s appearance, her hijacking the Epidemic Awards last night, was Harvey Weinstein’s idea. So the consensus is that Weinstein wanted to show everybody that he’s bigger and more powerful than Spielberg. Speilberg got Clinton, but Clinton’s a has-been. Clinton’s yesterday. Harvey was able to get Moochelle. So Harvey called the White House; they planned it. The White House agreed to it, and I think one of the reasons is, again, they got snubbed. They got snubbed. Obama’s campaign ad didn’t win, and his autobiographical movie didn’t win. [...]

There was some real irony last night that zipped by and blew by a lot of people. It might not have blown by you in this audience. The best picture award last night went to a movie named Argo, which was about what?

The rescue of embassy personnel under attack in Iran. The wife of the commander-in-chief who failed to rescue four Americans at an embassy/consulate in Benghazi presented it and talked about how important it was and how necessary it is and how great it was and all that. Now, I don’t know how many people got that, but this bunch — this administration — failed in rescuing Americans under attack. And the wife of the president who failed presented the Oscar to the movie who won the best picture award about a successful rescue of embassy personnel from Iran in 1979.

Not to mention that Iran is going nuclear.  It’s as if the Screen Actors Guild is asking the movie-goers if the ‘Bamster worse than Carter.  It doesn’t end there.

The shine of the dress is picked up by the silver lipstick and the gold detail on the uniforms of the military personnel behind Ma’am. That’s what I call attention to detail!

Iranian TV ‘shopped short sleeves on Mrs. O’s trademark sleeveless gown.  If they were to draw Khomeinista wrist-covering sleeves it would be one thing.  I would happily take it to mean “Cover up, you Hollywood whore!”  But they didn’t, so it’s more of a “give it up already” kind of fashion b*tch-slapping.

Too bad the Persians didn’t trimmed her bangs

And Mooch, by the time your husband is done unilaterally disarming *his* country (is it the 80s revival or what?) you might just need more cover.

Get with the program!

Sandbox State of The Union

I didn’t watch SOUT last night, and not necessarily by choice; we are just too busy here.  Leslie Loftis alerted me to another FLOTUS get up that lived up to the expectations:

This is our 21st century Amazonian beauty ideal — or something: upper arms dwarfing breasts and the lower body looking ever-ginormous thanks to too tight skirt and sparkles. Sparkles?

This is a cocktail dress.  She wore one for SOTU 2012, too; that gown was shiny and blue.  The First (if I may call her) Lady has a tendency to wear cocktail dresses all day long.  I know, I love to dress  up too.  Unfortunately, by not looking serious when seriousness is called for, Moochelle is sending a message — that she’s not taking her husband serious.  And if she doesn’t, why should we?  No need to be nervous, Marco.

Here we have the far better designed prototype. Jason Wu Pre-Fall 2013. We can observe Mobama’s fashion sense maturing in her fifth year of FLOTUS-ship.  There is a clear trend for shiny sci fi villain looks

The President’s favorability is down — not that it matters at this point.  He’s in the black on national defense only, and that’s probably because of droning.

All this SOTU news is coming against the rough LAPD ex-cop with some sort of racial grievances on a murder rampage.  Don’t you just love how Barack Hussein Obama personally solved all our race problems?  And did you know that Christopher Droner loved Michelle Obama’s bangs?

Sarah Palin already fact checked O’s speech, so I don’t really have much to add.  If you are not too busy figuring out why all of a sudden you paycheck is smaller, you might notice that in 2010 we surged in Afghanistan for some reason, and now we are for some reason leaving.  In the meantime, a recent Medal of Honor recipient former Army Staff Sergeant Clint Romesha politely declined an invitation to sit next to the Flablulous Buttness during the speech.  Three years ago, Kimberly Munley, the hero who helped stop the terrorist attack at Fort Hood, was a Presidential guest at the State of the Union.   Now she is on record saying that she felt betrayed by Obama who classified the attack as “workplace violence” thus denying proper benefits and military honors to heroes and victims.  Currently BO is making further plans to take on our military.

The two MO’s guests who did show up, and were seated right next to the Flabulous Buttness were the parents of the teenage victim of Chicago gang violence Hadiya Pendleton.  Their prominent placement signals the centrality of the anti-gun agenda to the President’s policies — nothing new here.  This morning when we were packing lunchboxes DH said that he’s glad BO keeps talking about guns.  You see, we own stock in Smith and Weston, and every time the Prez opens his mouth about guns, the stock goes up.  It’s up 3.5% today.

I did scan the text of the speech this morning.  President BO conceded that he’s waging class warfare.  Thank you.  Blabbed on about the middle class (see my notes on FLOTUS MO’s opinions of her hubby above) and called for more spending on hip grown-up toys, like windmills.

‘Bamster wants to get the states to subsidized babysitting, potentially edging out private (and often religious) pre-schools, or, as he put it politely, “high-quality preschool available to every child in America”.  In real world, a “high quality pre-school” is the one where the teachers are nice.  The wee ones don’t need any more than that.  Oh, and a mommy will do.  Anyhow, this might be a Nancy Pelosi’s idea.  Not sure how her bankrupt home state of California is supposed to afford it all, or how the millionaires in Congress will be affected.

He also feels that all state should mandate high school graduation.  While this sounds nice, universal high school graduation is not a hot idea.  Many students simple don’t have the ability, or the drive, or respect for the system.  I gather drop outs don’t care much for your little mandates, that’s why many of them drop out.  When I went to a junior college, I had many classmates who oped out for the GED, and then went the community college rout, and were doing fine.  Instead of mandating graduation, how about designing a challenging curriculum that makes their diplomas meaningful?  He topped off his education chat with call for further inflation of the higher education bubble.

The Prez believes that the state of the Union is strong.  OK.  Then perhaps we can deal without universal pre-school.

Wanted: Humanoid First Lady

Michelle Obama’s inaugural get-ups weren’t at their eye-popping best.  And yet in her usual display of opulence FLOTUS 44 went through something like twenty five changes, which, of course give plenty of fodder to your humble blogger.

Lets start with her pre-party children’s inaugural ensemble.  While an ostrich might be preferable to a peacock, it’s still an ostrich.  Hi-Lo hemline is easy to overdo, and if anyone knows about overdoing, it’s Michelle.  Unfortunately, this McQueen shirt is one of those garments that one pretty much has to be a model to get away with.

FLOTUS might need a little extra room in the fabulous upper arm area

On to the outdoor daytime inaugural look.  For the afternoon festivities MO wore a helmet and a pair of blood-stained gloves.

It’s not just that I don’t particularly like the coat because tiny geometric print punctuates the seams, and some of the panels are wider than others, which makes her look a bit odd.  All in all the coat is not bad, especially considering the source.  But her helmet hair, together with the stiff coat lines, the shiny belt, the pointy shiny toe, the fuchsia gloves and the cool tones made her look like a space alien about to use her mechanical hands to repel away a bitter clinger or two.

I want my hair to look like a wig too!

Because so many people already think she’s a meanie, she should generally get away from severe looks.  In this particular case, incorporating warm browns, round toe shoes, or, like the presidential lip-syncher, soft curls would go a long way.

Easy good looks

At the ball the First Lady of Fabulous wore a shiny (doh!) LBD and a red gown.

The red piece is nice, which means that according to the media it’s the best thing that ever happened to the office of the First Lady

Last time she wore a white dress with fluffy trimming and a thick strap across one shoulder.

Virgin white. I’m not a fan of First Ladies wearing white for inaugural balls. What is it, an occasion to renew your vows?

I can see the thinking here.  Since she already wore white, what’s left is black and red, and it can’t be black or red, she has to have both.  Reminds me of how our ever-sophisticated First Lady wore a gold dress for hubby’s Nobel “Peace” Prize ceremony and then a silver dress for the reception.  Based on her sartorial choices alone, Michelle Obama is much more of an open book than her husband.

And besides her dresses?  What is Michelle known for if not flaunting riches and telling working women how to raise kids?  Take away these two and all that’s left is a gal who’s only proud of her country on the occasions of her husband’s inaugurals.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: I totally missed it.  It’s Romulan:

Ann Romney for A Better J Crew Catalog

Did Ann Romney’s teal dress erase the gender gap?  Our future First Lady wore the dress by a designer whose name I will not mention to the foreign policy debate at Lynn University.  The color popped on TV screens and complimented her complexion.  O’s fabulous wifie, inexplicably, wore a gray cocktail lace dress by the same designer.

A woman who knows what works for her

I’m ready for a First Lady with bigger ambitions than to serve as a walking billboard for brown-nosing fashion industry insiders.  One problem with designers getting too cozy with politicians is that designers are typically nuts, and not in a good way.  Fox News reported that the notorious American Vogue editor Anna Wintour enlisted designers like Marc Jacobs to create Obama 2012 merchandize. There are many things wrong  with Marc Jacobs (and I don’t mean his bizarre style).  For instance, he knowingly hires underage models, the practice Anna Wintour pledged to stamp out.

In February 2012, as the American Presidential campaign was gathering momentum, Barack Obama backer Marc Jacobs (center) sent two underage models (on his left and his right) down the runway. Forget Michelle, perhaps he should outfit Barack

Jackie Kennedy was a fashion plate, but she was the youngest First Lady in history.  For this reason alone there will probably never be “the next Jackie”.  Matronly Obama’s sartorial options are limited by her age and the imperfections of her figure.  Every time her consultants put her in an inappropriate outfit, her faux pas are amplified by her status.  She comes across as somebody who tries too hard, and fails, and makes fool of herself and her office.  Michelle should have stopped competing with Jackie a long time ago.

Who can forget this one?

It’s not just that Michelle won’t leave fashion alone; the fashion industry that won’t let go of her.  Wintour seems hell-bent on dragging FLOTUS’s formidable behind across the finish line, and The Daily Mail has pictures to prove it (hat tip to Leslie Loftis).  Michelle Malkin has a great essay on the little fascist Wintour commanding fashion insiders to back Obama, in the process alienating half of their customers.  Overtly political designers whose names, again, I’m not going to mention, should keep their fingers crossed that conservative women can’t care less about their little political tantrums and will buy their product regardless.

There are rebels in the industry, though.  Malkin quotes the terrific designer and brave man Bradley Scott:

Young New York City designer Bradley Scott also spoke up against ideological “persecution” in his industry. “It’s really offensive for me, as a designer, to be issued an unveiled threat by someone who could exert an enormous amount of influence over my customers, store buyers and magazine editors,” he told me on Tuesday. “I for one want absolutely nothing to do with this attack on women. This pressure upon designers should offend every woman in this country, not just the conservatives.”

Of course, not every fashion house supports the ‘Bamas in order to placate a queen bee or because, being artists, they are mad as hatters.  Outfitting a First Lady is an honor, even if her taste is questionable.  Early on Michelle indicated willingness to incorporate J Crew in her get ups, and the fashion house went crazy for her.  Michelle’s consultants figured she needs to wear color (because she’s black?), and the J Crew catalog exploded with blinding hues.  I don’t suppose they will design for Ann Romney, but if Michelle is gone, they will move on to a different aesthetic, which is a kind of progress.

Their November 2012 production. Somehow I doubt many American women would like to wear this pallet

P.S. Like his wife, Barack knows how to stay classy.

P.P.S. I don’t see a whole lot Obama yard signs in our bluest blue Alameda county.  It’s not just my town; I go to Oakland regularly, and last weekend I was in Berkeley (yes, Berkeley).  I don’t see a lot of bumper stickers either.  Not much love for Romney here either, of course, but lots of people put up local election signs in their yards.  I somehow don’t recall seeing a lot of Obama yard signage and bumper stickers in 08, but last presidential election cycle merchandise like tot bags and onesies was all the rage.  That was before Anna Wintour became O’s super-duper bundler.  I guess the glorious trendsetter was too busy with September Issue back then.

Happy Birthday Mr President One Year Later

A year ago we celebrated the President’s 50th Birthday with the top 50 get-ups of Michelle Obama.  Since Barack Obama held yet another Birthday fundraiser yesterday, I feel obliged to review the last 366 days of wardrobe of our First Lady of Fashion.  It’s a lot of outfits to parse through, and I’m lazy.  So since I blogged about MO’s style through the end of 2011, I’m going to chose Michelle’s most eye-popping outfit of 2012.

In March FLOTUS went on a children’s TV channel wearing nothing but a see-through top and shiny tight pants.  Eye-popping indeed.  Still, I want to find another look because the pictures of her Nickelodeon appearance had been around the internet and back.

Doesn’t shock anymore

A few days ago Michelle attended a British royal Olympic function in a 7K J. Mendel jacket, which is by now as ubiquitous as her Nickelodeon look.

I give her points for covering her shoulders, but the sleeves cut her oh-so-fabulous arms where they are the widest

Can’t say I like it, but looking at the picture of the model I see what the designer had in mind.  It’s the slopping white line across the chest that makes the garment.  On Michelle, however, the sleeves point upward, and the line is broken.  I never understood why she doesn’t get her clothes custom fitted.

The model wore it better

Considering that the majority of Americans still think that we are in a recession, and that the occasion is the Olympics, she could have recycled the gold medal in a cardigan look she spotted for hubby’s Nobel “Peace” Prize ceremony.

Then there is a boob belt siting in May:

Not sure why this dress need a belt, let along a boob belt, and what this belt has to do with the string of pearls. And why she wore those pearls to begin with.  The First Lady has the unfortunate tendency to over-accessorize

In my opinion Michelle wore her most eye-popping look on David Letterman’s show in March.  She chose a sharp outfit by Preen:

Nice proportions, bold color

Unfortunately, the dress was hard to wear, and this is what we saw on TV:

Michelle’s body viciously sliced into rectangles, with rear end and thighs most prominent

So, OK, they didn’t quite think it through, although somebody on Michelle’s massive stuff should be thinking about what looks good when seated in nighttime TV chairs.  And, again, what’s with the accessory?  The Preen design was all about clean lines.

Why did she need to ruin it with the glittery pin?

In case you are wondering, MO chatted with Letterman about raising her daughters with South Chicago values.  I wonder if those are the same as “the Chicago values” her pal Rahm lauded when he expressed his desire to banish Chick-fil-A from the Windy City but embraced the race-monger Louis Farrakhan.  Of course, at the time of the airing of the Letterman show, BO was officially against gay marriage.  Presumably he was (and still is) pro-Farrakhan.

UPDATE: Linked by Temple of Mut — thank you!

The Obama Family Values

Blogger buddy Conservatives on Fire brought up the subject of the FLOTUS in re ‘Bumster’s not at all clear opinion about men marrying multiple women:

I think he would say he is against polygamy. He wouldn’t stand a chance in a fair fight against Moochelle.

Michelle certainly doesn’t strike me as the type who would allow a second wife on her premises.  But wait!  On her edutainingfamily trip to Africa last June the glowing First Lady paused with her daughters next to Jacob Zuma, South Africa’s polygamous leader.

3/4 of the First family meets President Zuma.

Judicial Watch criticized the trip which cost the American taxpayer nearly half a mil:

The professed purpose of Michelle Obama’s trip to South Africa and Botswana was to encourage young people living in the two growing democracies to become involved in national affairs; and during her scheduled stops in Pretoria and Cape Town, South Africa and in Gaborone, the capital of Botswana, the First Lady used the opportunity to speak on education, health and wellness issues.The trip also included such tourist events as visits to historical landmarks and museums, plus a nonworking chance to send time with Nelson Mandela, a meeting that Mrs. Obama described as “surreal.” The trip ended with a private family safari at a South African game reserve before the group returned to Washington on June 27.“This trip was as much an opportunity for the Obama family to go on a safari as it was a trip to conduct government business,” said Judicial Watch President Tom Fitton. “This junket wasted tax dollars and the resources of our overextended military. No wonder we had to sue to pry loose this information.”

In the course of that wanton trip Michelle introduced her young daughters to a polygamist.  Do we really need to take her historic husband as an historic authority on family in this country?

As a side note, I’m mystified by what Africa means to the Michelle Obama.  On that 2011 trip she was clearly delighted to meet black African leaders.  Before she became the First Lady, she went to Trinity United whose leader Jermiah Wright traveled to an Arab African country, Libya, in 1984 when the US imposed sanctions on that state sponsor of terrorism.  The late flamboyant Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi, of course, had quite a harem himself.  Michelle married a man with ties to Africa.  So it looks as if she’s enthralled by the continent.  At the same time, she’s undisturbed by polygamy practiced by Africans, although she probably doesn’t want something like that for herself or her daughters.  What gives?  Are Africans some kind of noble savages in her mind?

I Guess I Don’t Want a Cool President

The cat is out of the bag.  Andy Levy Has the Most Accurate Take on Obama’s ‘Coolness’ (via Insty):

On last night’s edition of Red Eye, Levy set the record straight about exactly why President Obama is NOT President Cool:

President Cool doesn’t raid marijuana dispensaries. President Cool is not against gay marriage.

[...]

I like how he slow jams closing Gitmo.

[...]He can get all the Fallon appearances, celebrity endorsements, and press brown-nosing his PR team wants, but President Obama is thoroughly uncool.

In other words, Obama is on the wrong side of the culture war issues which largely define cool in politics — because as we all know, the trendsetters among us have no time for econ 101 and know precious little about geopolitics.  Also, his time is up.  Few rock stars can still have it after 4 years in the spotlight.  Peggy Noonan noticed that he’s boring (via Instie).  Truth is, he always was, looking from left to right to left, delivering his stump sermons.  I strongly suspect that people who were all worked up about him in ’08 were like the young ladies at the Beatles concerts — they saw the idols, but didn’t hear the music.

I doubt there was a time in the One’s life when he really was cool.  We know precious little about Obama’s college years, except that he had weirdo Pakistani roommates that he found through a newspaper ad and that few remember him in college, suggesting that he wasn’t popular.  Everything else is a matter of dispute.

Some people can go to Harvard Law School and be cool, but it’s on them to prove it.  How did he dress?  I’m not sure that kids who are with it are allowed to wear blue jeans unironically.

Two of the instances of mom jeans styling

“Mmmm, mmm, mmm, Barack Hussein Obama”.  Sure, he has a radical chic first, middle an last name, but that’s through no fault of his own.  Canine cuisine added some much-needed exoticism, but still he married a lady who evidently knows so little about making herself look pretty, she wound up walking around London dressed like a Presidential seal cake.

The most infamous incident of

I’m sure it was somehow all focus-group tested, but how could his current handlers have the President doing smooth jazz?  What kind of cool person sings Al Green?  That’s basically the mom jeans of music.

And that's the seal cake

Four years ago enough trendsetters decided that once in office, Obama will do a lot of very, very lefty things, which was cool, and convinced themselves that the man himself was.  Saul Alinsky went out of his way to make his occupation appear exciting, but the core of socialist political groups are dorks.  Browse through pictures of their protests, and see just how unhip the rank and file socialists appear.  A big protest attracts enough fellow travelers who generate some sort of pizzazz, but Barack Obama was a community organizer, a foot soldier of socialism, marching from teach-in to teach-in, when cool people merely favor radical politics because it enables them to strike a pose.  Supporting an non-mainstream politician is akin to liking an obscure band.  It has little to do with politics and everything to do with image.  The super secret reason why young people don’t vote, or vote for sure losers like Nader and Paul, is that politics is not prestigious.

In ’08 Obama had slick designers repackage him and underground artists draw his portraits.  It happened because he was black ans he had a Muslim name.  There was no way for trendsetters like Shepard Fairey to support a third party candidate that year.  So they got out the vote for Obama.  But the way hipsters talked about Obama was bordering on irony.  To be sure, they can’t transcend irony if they wanted to.  But as much as they tried to appear earnest, they are pretty hopeless in that department.  They came up with some strange ideas, like that Obama is handsome.

Ah, the '08 vintage! Either daddy is not upset because mama quite obviously doesn't find the man attractive or he's a total beta. Possibly both

Democratic politics are kind of uncool to begin with.  Our politicians are largely reactive to the demands of the masses, and the masses are, by definition, uncool.  If Obama is on the square side of the culture wars, it’s because the issues Andy Levy cited are unpopular.  To be sure, democratically elected officials are known to show true leadership and take unpopular stands.  Personally, I think the costs of war on drugs justify legalization of marijuana, and although “medical” marijuana is a sham, I’d like for our President to lead on this issue, or at least to allow the states take the lead.

He seems to be incapable of that.  Last year he whined that it’s easy to be a president of China.  Then he’d have a reason to believe he’s cool.  Dictators are a kind of rock star, and rock stars like to compare themselves to dictators (think David Bowie).  So yeah, let’s not elect a cool President — or even one that is supposed to be cool.