sitting on the edge of the sandbox, biting my tongue

September 29, 2010

Yuppified Goth

Filed under: taste — Tags: , , — edge of the sandbox @ 5:29 am

Talk about timing!

A day after I read Lileks’s “The Color of No Money” in National Review (not available online), I get a Restoration Hardware Catalog.   “Restoration Hardware  catalog,”  says Lileks “[is] the most depressing article to arrive in the mailboxes this month.”  Apparently, it’s intentional: company CEO Gary Friedman sees their new look as a response to “the collapse of global economy”.  Oooh how relevant he sounds!  I mean, I can see why some arty types would be insecure about their intellect and all, but do we really need to marry room decor to post-Marxism?

No, we don’t, because, as Lileks points out, Sears Roebuck catalog c. 1934 was bursting with color:

Times were hard, but the trees were still green, the flowers still bright, the sky still blue.  If you are headed to hell in a handbasket, why not tie a ribbon to the handle?

A much better attitude for turbulent times!  See, fashion does not need to be in sync with economic cycle.  Why wallow with doom and gloom when you have exciting things, like Technicolor going on?  Lileks adds:

Colors rise and fall in popularity.  They’re the visual equivalent of carbon dating: When you see a picture of an office with teal, puce, and mauve cubicles, you know you are in Tootsie era of interior design.  Those terrible twins, harvest gold and avocado green, tell you the appliance hailed from the Nixon/Ford era.  Brown and orange: the slump-shouldered trough of the Carter years.  Turquoise and pink: Nifty Fifties.  No one can chart the exact moment when a color slips out of vogue, but one day you look around and realize that the entire palette has shifted.

I’m not ready to generalize from the Restoration Hardware catalog to entire culture, but… it certainly is an odd catalog.  There is no color in it.  None!  Whatsoever!  Lileks describes Restoration pallet as “death, decay, rot, ennui, collapse and brown”.  Sounds like Urban Decay cosmetics.  In 1997 I owned a shimmery gray lipstick  of theirs named Hell’s Bell.  An ex roommate of mine owns it now.  I hope she still enjoys it because what use a mother of two has for such trinkets?  Urban Decay hails from the heart of “irrational exuberance” 90s — founded in 1996.

Unlike Urban Decay, Restoration Hardware doesn’t market the wildest tints of cockroach and asphalt to post-teens.  And so Restoration Hardware colors their items beige.  Nevertheless, some of their products sound rather macabre.  Right of the top of my head I can name several takers for the replica of a 19th century French dental chair.

Those takers might have grown out of black, I must add, but they didn’t exactly grow into Gary Friedman’s pallet.  I don’t think they’ll have any use for the off white couches that populate his catalog.

Also, what’s with replicas and molds?  I’m talking about their cast resin horns and antlers “hand finished for exceptional realism”.  I’m sorry, but sometimes I do care for authenticity.  If there is a scull of a dead animal on nailed a wall, the owner should have the decency to kill the animal… or at least have an ancestor kill him.  If the scull was found at a swap meet or an estate sale, the it’s allowed to hang, because it can be argued that the item was acquired in a course of some sort of a hunt.  But molds from a store in a mall?  Channel your inner Sarah Palin!

To go back to my original point about arty types trying to appear smart.  Gary Freidman greats the readers of his latest issue with a quote from Albert Szent-Gyorgyi.  Who’s Albert Szent-Gyorgyi? I didn’t know, and I’m glad interior designers brought him to my attention.  A couple of months from now Nobel Price Laureate who discovered vitamin C, advanced our understanding of cancer and heart disease, and fought in WWII Resistance will still be a man worth remembering.  But the recession will be over.  Than we’ll be wrecking our heads trying to rid of that desaturated ottoman.


Three Cheers for the American Constitution

Filed under: Uncategorized — edge of the sandbox @ 5:08 am

One for each level of government: Federal, State and Local.  All elected independently.

Now take Russia.  In 2004 Putin nixed gubernatorial elections.  And now Putin’s successor/reluctant puppet Medvedev sacked the mayor of Moscow (click on the link!  The pictures are priceless!):

Russian President Dmitry Medvedev abruptly sacked veteran Moscow mayor Yuri Luzhkov this morning.

Mr Luzhkov had become a powerful political opponent who openly criticised the Kremlin and then defied pressure to resign.

He had ruled Russia’s capital since 1992 but angered Medvedev by suggesting the country needed a stronger and more decisive leader – a remark seen as favouring Prime Minister Vladimir Putin.

A cute corruption twist:

Luzhkov’s tenure as mayor was tainted by repeated allegations that his billionaire construction boss wife, Yelena Baturina, benefited from his post – allegations that the pair strenuously deny.

Suggestions of corruption were a focus of mud-slinging programmes that state-run television networks showed suddenly this month after Luzhkov targeted Medvedev with thinly veiled criticism in a state newspaper article.

I hope the sacked mayor will not immigrate to Chicago.

Anywho, three cheers for constitution and the people willing to abide by it.

September 28, 2010

Is Preganacy Sexy?

Filed under: relationships — Tags: , , — edge of the sandbox @ 6:16 pm

What I love about the Babble is that it allows me to feel better than other upper middle class white women of advanced maternal age.  For instance, today they posted Why Men Like Pregnant Women: 10 reasons why he wants sex during pregnancy.  I don’t find it particularly humorous because their assumptions are all wrong.

  1. He shot, he scored! His woman is carrying his child, and he’s damn proud. — Does “proud” translate into turned on?
  2. Twiggy who? Your new curves make you a siren on par with the new hottest woman from the age of free love — Joan from Mad Men. — Where do I start?  First, promiscuity is gross, especially in a mother.  Second, sure, your boobs will start to grow first, but that stage will not last very long, and you will be puking right and left then.  A large and growing stomach is the wrong kind of curve.  Last but not least, I don’t watch Mad Men, but I find it odd that a Mad Men character exhibits contemporary sensibilities.
  3. It’s like the first time all over again…in the bedroom. Remember the nervousness that you felt, the uncertainty? Being pregnant is an excuse to try new things, the sequel. — Men like sex with virgins?
  4. He can’t deny your doe eyes when you ask for intimate services like back rubs and foot massages. — Don’t confuse your pleasure with his desire.
  5. Neither of you have to worry about birth control for a long time. That’s just freeing, isn’t it? — Two things.  First, don’t count on that no birth control thingie too much.  Breastfeeding women are known to get pregnant. Second, the point is moot if he is just not turned on to begin with.
  6. You’re glowing and he’s basking in it. — Skin glow is true for many women.  On the other hand, preeclampsia and excess fat are not flattering.
  7. Your hormones are off the charts, which means other things may be off the charts too… — I like how she says “may be”.
  8. You might not feel like a porcelain doll, but honey your skin hasn’t been this soft since you were a baby. (It could also be all the creams you’ve been using to prevent stretch marks.) — Back to the glowing skin.
  9. You guys are a team like never before. — Teamwork is friendship, sexual attraction is something quite different.
  10. Your confidence and grace while taking one for the team (quite literally) makes him feel weak in the knees. — You are taking one for the team, and I hope he appreciates it.

Several decades ago women got pregnant, and this was a fact of life.  Now women choose to get pregnant, often late in their lives, with ensuring difficulty.  Pregnancy is fairly rare, and has to be celebrated with expensive rituals, and much is demanded from the husband. If pregnancy attractive, though, than visibly pregnant women would be turning heads.  The Babble would have you believe that “men” fall head over heels for pregnant women.  “Men” do not, but husbands are often very decent.  They will compliment your glowing skin, and will appreciate your good attitude.  They will find something to do with themselves while your are taking a nap at 8pm, and overlook your 3rd trimester toddling.  But if you want to know if they are really turned on, ask how they feel about yet another baby.

September 27, 2010

Enigma of the Day

Filed under: Kids!.. — Tags: , — edge of the sandbox @ 8:05 pm

“Mommy, I am draw a painting!”

Hmmm… you *can* paint a drawing…

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