sitting on the edge of the sandbox, biting my tongue

September 28, 2010

Is Preganacy Sexy?

Filed under: relationships — Tags: , , — edge of the sandbox @ 6:16 pm

What I love about the Babble is that it allows me to feel better than other upper middle class white women of advanced maternal age.  For instance, today they posted Why Men Like Pregnant Women: 10 reasons why he wants sex during pregnancy.  I don’t find it particularly humorous because their assumptions are all wrong.

  1. He shot, he scored! His woman is carrying his child, and he’s damn proud. — Does “proud” translate into turned on?
  2. Twiggy who? Your new curves make you a siren on par with the new hottest woman from the age of free love — Joan from Mad Men. — Where do I start?  First, promiscuity is gross, especially in a mother.  Second, sure, your boobs will start to grow first, but that stage will not last very long, and you will be puking right and left then.  A large and growing stomach is the wrong kind of curve.  Last but not least, I don’t watch Mad Men, but I find it odd that a Mad Men character exhibits contemporary sensibilities.
  3. It’s like the first time all over again…in the bedroom. Remember the nervousness that you felt, the uncertainty? Being pregnant is an excuse to try new things, the sequel. — Men like sex with virgins?
  4. He can’t deny your doe eyes when you ask for intimate services like back rubs and foot massages. — Don’t confuse your pleasure with his desire.
  5. Neither of you have to worry about birth control for a long time. That’s just freeing, isn’t it? — Two things.  First, don’t count on that no birth control thingie too much.  Breastfeeding women are known to get pregnant. Second, the point is moot if he is just not turned on to begin with.
  6. You’re glowing and he’s basking in it. — Skin glow is true for many women.  On the other hand, preeclampsia and excess fat are not flattering.
  7. Your hormones are off the charts, which means other things may be off the charts too… — I like how she says “may be”.
  8. You might not feel like a porcelain doll, but honey your skin hasn’t been this soft since you were a baby. (It could also be all the creams you’ve been using to prevent stretch marks.) — Back to the glowing skin.
  9. You guys are a team like never before. — Teamwork is friendship, sexual attraction is something quite different.
  10. Your confidence and grace while taking one for the team (quite literally) makes him feel weak in the knees. — You are taking one for the team, and I hope he appreciates it.

Several decades ago women got pregnant, and this was a fact of life.  Now women choose to get pregnant, often late in their lives, with ensuring difficulty.  Pregnancy is fairly rare, and has to be celebrated with expensive rituals, and much is demanded from the husband. If pregnancy attractive, though, than visibly pregnant women would be turning heads.  The Babble would have you believe that “men” fall head over heels for pregnant women.  “Men” do not, but husbands are often very decent.  They will compliment your glowing skin, and will appreciate your good attitude.  They will find something to do with themselves while your are taking a nap at 8pm, and overlook your 3rd trimester toddling.  But if you want to know if they are really turned on, ask how they feel about yet another baby.

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2 Comments »

  1. The correct formula for modern American women seems to be to tell them lies calibrated to flatter their brittle self esteem. Example: the whole Ashton Kutcher cheating on his wife thing. “How could he cheat; Demi has so much more going for her.” Um, yes, except for, like, youth and fertility, I guess her career is doing great. If only men found careers more attractive than youth and fertility, she’d be all set!

    Comment by Lupo Leboucher — September 28, 2010 @ 10:27 pm

    • I don’t pretend to understand what’s going on in the world of celebrities, but… I’m sure Demi can fake youth and even fertility. In India docs can help septuagenarians to get pregnant.

      Comment by edgeofthesandbox — September 29, 2010 @ 4:50 am


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