sitting on the edge of the sandbox, biting my tongue

May 13, 2011

Birthday Madness, etc.

Filed under: Kids!.., society, whatever — Tags: , , — edge of the sandbox @ 10:49 pm

I suppose my agony is — oh — tres banal to all of you seasoned parents out there, but my daughter, lets call her Yelena, after the Russian fairytale princess, is turning four, and she’s getting her first real Birthday party.   I am determined to spend less then $500 on the bash, which, apparently, is a bit of a challenge.  We don’t have the space in our house to accommodate all her guests and their parents, so I have to rent out a location.  We need an entertainer because all other kids invited entertainers, and because we need somebody there to keep the little ones from thrashing the place.  Then there are the traditional concerns, like favors and food (are the guests going to eat non-organic ?)  Plus something like 1/4 of the guest list didn’t bother to RSVP.  And somehow I got myself into making this cake:

I don’t remember being that stressed out when I was getting married, which probably has something to do with not having to take care of two children while working out all the details.

Yelena is going to have a princess party, but we are inviting boys.  We can’t insult them with glittery magic wands for favors.  A natural companion for a princess would be a knight or a Jack, right?  A prince is too pampered, and a king is too grown up.  I looked everywhere and couldn’t find any Jack/knight favors.  So I bought them pirate toys.  Pirates are cool, and, although they don’t figure in traditional tales, they kind of go with princesses.  Only pirates are anti-heroes, and it’s kind of sad that I couldn’t find a positive male character to compliment a princess.

Oh, and my son, lets call him Ivan, like a hero in Russian folk tales, is trying to sit on the potty.  Heaven help me!

Meanwhile I read and enjoyed:

What’s Up with That?  Greenpeace Looses Charity Status in New Zealand.

Manhattan Infidel: New York Bans Competitive Sports for Children.

King Shamus: “Shoot first So No Questions Can Be Asked Later”.

I suppose Trump peaked weeks ago, but this two month old Commentary post is worth noting: Why Is Donald Trump Embracing an Anti-Semite?

Is the end of history in Europe officially over?  End of Passport-Free Travel in Europe.

An artist creates his own moral universe.  Recipient of a 3/4 mil grant once executed a dog just to see how it feels for art.  Check out the old hippy in CBGB t-shirt here, and hugging a teddy sculpture here.

Nice Deb: Excellent: TX House Bans Offensive Security Pat-Downs.

Unibomber possessions are going on sale.

Bin Laden had three wives (or is it four?) and never took any of them dancing.  Sounds like he couldn’t handle one.  That reminds me of a song from the classic 1960s Russian comedy “Prisoner of Caucuses.”  I couldn’t find a subtitled clip, but here it is, If I Were a Sultan, a masterpiece of Soviet orientalism:

After expressing his wish to have three wives to be surrounded with three times the beauty, the singer contends that even a single wife is too much to handle, and if he were a sultan, he’d be a bachelor.



  1. Thank you for the linkage and the funny tales, tovarish.

    Comment by KingShamus — May 13, 2011 @ 11:10 pm

  2. I like when the guy toasts himself in the mirror.

    and LOL! Your birthday party lament is understandable. For one: kids birthday parties are AWFUL I hate planning and attending them.

    And for two, the bar is apparently quite high for you, given the other parties your girl has already attended.

    I’m happy to report, that age 9 for my boy ushered in a new era: Too big for goofy stuff. Reserved a room for cake and presents at Laser Tag, invited a dozen kids of his choice, and VOILA

    party done.


    Comment by nooneofanyimport — May 14, 2011 @ 1:18 pm

    • I’m glad it’s all over. I suppose it went pretty well.
      One reason children’s events are so intolerable is because they/us try to make it as unenjoyable for adults as possible, e.g. no alcohol.

      Comment by edge of the sandbox — May 15, 2011 @ 12:39 am

  3. Haha. Why not have gender-neutral party favors? Or do those exist in the same way that unicorns do?

    Comment by Vicki — May 16, 2011 @ 2:46 pm

    • When you are four gender-neutral is not a lot of fun. Pre-schoolers are the most gender specific people on Earth. My daughter wanted a princess party complete with everything princess, which is very normal for a girl her age.
      …One of the moms actually told me that her son doesn’t mind princess stuff b/c he has a big sister and plays with her toys. I don’t want him to think about about his favors a year from now and feel insulted.

      Comment by edge of the sandbox — May 16, 2011 @ 3:29 pm

      • I realize I didn’t make a lot of sense. Gender segregation in pre-school usually starts with girls going ubergirly. Boys pick up on it a bit later.

        Comment by edge of the sandbox — May 16, 2011 @ 3:46 pm

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