In my previous post I covered the White House mermaid sensation, white suit makeover and bare arms. In this installment I’m going to focus on peculiar challenges posed by her body type.
40. Considering her age and all, Michelle isn’t horribly built. She’s leggy and tall, and she didn’t accumulate inordinate amounts of flab. Unfortunately, she’s extremely pear-shaped. She needs to go with subdued dark colors for her bottoms, empire waist cuts and, to balance out the hips, wide necklines. She doesn’t have the best of posture (a common problem with tall women), and she toddles when she moves. 5 Hours of ballet a week can do wonders, but in the meantime she needs to steer clear from wearing presumptuous fashions. Anywhoo, that’s MO failing her long black dress test:
Clingy fabric shows off her cascading hips, narrow neckline shrinks her upper body, breast are lost in the jewel color. For bonus negative points, she dwarfs the ladies to her left.
39. Back in my wasted youth I came across a Dame Darcy comic about Gothic fashion devotees who’d rob old graves to get Victorian dresses. This must be the story behind MO’s trim:
False eyelashes do not detract from the fact that the cut and the trim make her look utterly boobless.
38. Still, this is a significant improvement over the original Pierrot:
37. Updated cover girl Pierrot:
36. Forget aged Victorian lace. Here’s Dear Lady’s attempt at Edwardian squeeze:
Edwardian squeeze, properly executed:
Back to FLOTUS’s famed Red China dress. Some fashion is created for runways only. Maybe some women get away with this, but evidently not Michelle. I don’t understand why she can’t do better with couture fit — and there is no way it’s not couture fitted. Suppose the odd scarf was White House’s last minute attempt to fix the back boob. By the way this is the original kimono-inspired back:
Sleeves (a MO’s no-no, of course) add a nice balance. Neat. I’m not sure what was the point of wearing the dress sans Japanese inspiration and sleeveless, and why was the dress chosen in a first place given… well, the Japanese inspiration and the sleeves. Dear Lady liked the dress but not what was good about it?
That’s by the House of McQueen, by the way. This is late McQueen’s original creations:
No wonder the guy killed himself. And Michelle, I dare you to wear one of these.
35. By request of King Shamus I’m going to do a boob belt:
In my opinion, this is her most problematic boob belt. Because it’s patterned and shiny, it emphases Mrs. O’s midriff bulge, and it’s the midriff bulge that pushes her belt into the boob area, which has got to hurt. If she wants a lot of leather in her middle, a custom made waist clincher is highly recommended for the desirable curve.
This one is a trendy unisex design. Also, I wonder if she oils her legs.
34. FLOTUS bump watch.
I must have stolen this picture from MOTUS a long time ago, and can’t find the post now.
33. Bandage neckline:
An easy target, I know.
32. A butterfly boob belt. Inexplicable blazer and what appears to be ill-fitting pants for a bonus:
31. Another day, another style, boho in this case. Who does she think she is, David Bowie?
You have to forgive the ugly style in this case. She’s visiting Martha’s Vineyard, the original land of radical chic.
UPDATE: Linked by Political Junkie Mom — Thanks!
UPDATE: #39 is from Obama’s Moscow trip in summer 2009.