sitting on the edge of the sandbox, biting my tongue

January 23, 2013

Wanted: Humanoid First Lady

Filed under: fashion, politics — Tags: , , , — edge of the sandbox @ 10:35 am

Michelle Obama’s inaugural get-ups weren’t at their eye-popping best.  And yet in her usual display of opulence FLOTUS 44 went through something like twenty five changes, which, of course give plenty of fodder to your humble blogger.

Lets start with her pre-party children’s inaugural ensemble.  While an ostrich might be preferable to a peacock, it’s still an ostrich.  Hi-Lo hemline is easy to overdo, and if anyone knows about overdoing, it’s Michelle.  Unfortunately, this McQueen shirt is one of those garments that one pretty much has to be a model to get away with.

FLOTUS might need a little extra room in the fabulous upper arm area

On to the outdoor daytime inaugural look.  For the afternoon festivities MO wore a helmet and a pair of blood-stained gloves.

It’s not just that I don’t particularly like the coat because tiny geometric print punctuates the seams, and some of the panels are wider than others, which makes her look a bit odd.  All in all the coat is not bad, especially considering the source.  But her helmet hair, together with the stiff coat lines, the shiny belt, the pointy shiny toe, the fuchsia gloves and the cool tones made her look like a space alien about to use her mechanical hands to repel away a bitter clinger or two.

I want my hair to look like a wig too!

Because so many people already think she’s a meanie, she should generally get away from severe looks.  In this particular case, incorporating warm browns, round toe shoes, or, like the presidential lip-syncher, soft curls would go a long way.

Easy good looks

At the ball the First Lady of Fabulous wore a shiny (doh!) LBD and a red gown.

The red piece is nice, which means that according to the media it’s the best thing that ever happened to the office of the First Lady

Last time she wore a white dress with fluffy trimming and a thick strap across one shoulder.

Virgin white. I’m not a fan of First Ladies wearing white for inaugural balls. What is it, an occasion to renew your vows?

I can see the thinking here.  Since she already wore white, what’s left is black and red, and it can’t be black or red, she has to have both.  Reminds me of how our ever-sophisticated First Lady wore a gold dress for hubby’s Nobel “Peace” Prize ceremony and then a silver dress for the reception.  Based on her sartorial choices alone, Michelle Obama is much more of an open book than her husband.

And besides her dresses?  What is Michelle known for if not flaunting riches and telling working women how to raise kids?  Take away these two and all that’s left is a gal who’s only proud of her country on the occasions of her husband’s inaugurals.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: I totally missed it.  It’s Romulan:



  1. ha ha ha! I love your First Lady Fashion posts, Missy. That LBD looked quite nice. The red gown maybe needs a slimmer figure? Maybe it’s just that photo that makes her waist look thick, which is not really her problem area at all.


    Comment by nooneofanyimport — January 24, 2013 @ 2:54 pm

    • Thank you.
      Yes, the LBD works. It even fits, at least as far as I can judge from the picture. The red dress also fits. And it’s nice that she didn’t try to do too much with either one of the pieces, the way she had too much detail with the white gown (the black dress is shiny, and, G-d knows, she loves shiny, but it’s still a simple cut). My main problem with her choices is that her white-red-black thinking is predictable, and that she had to do both black and red for the second inaugural because, you know, there is no third. So she couldn’t choose between the two colors. She just has to have it all. Can we call it greed? And stupidity?

      Comment by edge of the sandbox — January 24, 2013 @ 9:54 pm

  2. I love it when Edge goes full fashionista on the FLOTUS.

    Also, I just don’t get the dopey bangs. They make her look like she has no eyes. Is that a thing now?

    Comment by KingShamus — January 24, 2013 @ 5:57 pm

    • Thank you.

      To the best of my knowledge, no, it’s not the height of the Beatlemania. Have you read the MOTUS blog? She points out that that a$$-kissing designers try to incorporate MO’s mistakes into their styles. So I’m pretty sure the stylists will try to copy the too long bangs asap, which is too bad because, for one, I like more soft and romantic styling and how can she see with those bangs. I’m sure if women who actually need to drive try to copy MO, there will be more traffic accidents across our great country.

      Comment by edge of the sandbox — January 24, 2013 @ 10:03 pm

  3. Ha a frickin ROMULAN!

    Romulans are known for having terrible tempers and I think the First Lady qualifies.

    This juxtaposition is hilarious.

    Well done.

    Comment by Harrison — January 24, 2013 @ 10:52 pm

    • Well, I found the Romulan thing on Tweechy. To be completely honest. It’s hilarious.

      Comment by edge of the sandbox — January 28, 2013 @ 9:42 pm

  4. […] Edge of the Sandbox has a First Lady Second Inaugural Fashion Retrospective:  Wanted: Humanoid First Lady […]

    Pingback by The Goddess of Captialism Approves This Message « Temple of Mut — January 26, 2013 @ 4:59 pm

  5. Could be worse. At least she’s not a Klingon.

    Comment by Infidel de Manahatta — January 28, 2013 @ 3:12 pm

  6. Thank you. I got tired of reading how spot on her fashion sense was. Usually I prefer British media, but they just fawned over her when the only hits were the ball gowns. The rest is pretty awful. I’d not seen the bird shirt yet. I should have checked you last week, but well, I’ve had my own little crisis, one that involved me cutting in some bangs. Post kids my hair is curly, so they ended up too short. I look ridiculous. And to distract myself I sat down at the computer (figuring I would stay there for the two weeks it would take my bangs to grow to an appropriate length) and then saw the FLOUS’s new do. People are going to think I did this on purpose! That was one of those camel breaking straws and my subsequent minor freakout involved avoiding the computer, so I missed this last week. Are you sure that bird shirt picture is real? I just can’t imagine anyone but a stick seeing that picture and thinking, “Yeah, that’d look good on me.”

    Comment by ahlondon — January 28, 2013 @ 7:53 pm

    • I can see why some outlets wouldn’t want to say anything negative, but in this case they shouldn’t say anything at all. MO went through quite a few dress changes during the day, and they were all lacking. And I’m not even saying anything about the fact that she matched her daughters’ coats to her gloves (or vice versa).
      I don’t know if the picture is real, but it certainly makes a point. She dressed up as some sort of a scifi villain.
      Ow… My kids have curls too. I cut my son’s hair when he’s asleep, or else I have to give him a buzz cut, which he doesn’t mind but me and my mom like his locks.

      Comment by edge of the sandbox — January 28, 2013 @ 10:07 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at

%d bloggers like this: