sitting on the edge of the sandbox, biting my tongue

September 14, 2015

Degrees of Environmental Concern

Filed under: environmentalism, parenting, politics — Tags: , , , , , — edge of the sandbox @ 7:36 pm

Environmentalism is an all-consuming ideology.  It postulates that a) the Earth is in danger and b) to save the Earth all of us (save Al Gore whose priestly status absolves him from acts of sacrifice) need to dramatically reduce our “footprint”. No aspect of our lives is too small because a) the planetary emergency and b) think globally, act locally because changes made by the masses on the personal level will affect the shared planet.  Act microlocally, I’d say, because true believers are to continuously alter mundane, inconsequential routines.  In reality it doesn’t matter, for instance, if one prefers plastic or paper grocery bags; in fact, plastic was encouraged 20 years ago, but today the same plastic bags are banned in California.

Young children are hugely susceptible to environmentalist propaganda, not because they understand ecology, but because it’s easy to coerce them into politically correct routines.  Ask an unindoctrinated adult to recycle, and he’ll demand a proof that it’s a legit exercise, but children like rules, routines and they like to sort.  They learn by doing; to them separating garbage is a game.  Reward them with a sticker of smiling Gaia (wait, is that conspicuous consumption?) and they’ll squeal with excitement.  They are conformists, too, so count on them to bully each other into compliance.  As time goes by, layer on propaganda.

On-the-fence parents can be approached through kids.  As students are taught environmentalist routines, they quickly begin to insist on implementing them at home.  Schools act as if the habits they import on pupils are grounded in universally accepted truths, but they merely reflect the opinions of educators.  Our family only recycles in as much as the behavior is mandated by the local government through manipulating the size and price of the garbage bins.  I’d rather have school focus on teaching basic good manners than recycling.  If our local schools accommodate (and celebrate) lesbian parenting, surely they can accommodate families with diverse traditions of garbage disposal.  But they don’t.  Our kids are a bit suspicious when I teach them something other than the received truths of public education, but they’ll come around.  This is nothing compare to how I grew up.

So que in Darleen Click’s post about a San Francisco mom and her uberannoying teenage son:

I can do nothing right in my teenage son’s eyes. He grills me about the distance traveled of each piece of fruit and every vegetable I purchase. He interrogates me about the provenance of all the meat, poultry, and fish I serve. He questions my every move—from how I choose a car (why not electric?) and a couch (why synthetic fill?) to how I tend the garden (why waste water on flowers?)—an unremitting interrogation of my impact on our desecrated environment. While other parents hide alcohol and pharmaceuticals from their teens, I hide plastic containers and paper towels.

And so on.  Why do I feel like I know these two?

Click makes an excellent point about the boy’s upbringing:

Where is dad? Or grandpa?

Where was the required influence of an adult man who would have pulled this little asswipe aside and told him to knock-off the totalitarian nonsense or get knocked into next week — “Don’t ever, ever let me catch you treating your mom this way again.”

No, really, where is the dad?  Did he entrust the boy’s moral education to school in which the boy get a big chunk of enviro-garbage that fills his head?  And why do the parents assume that they can control their son’s environmentalist fervor to the extent that it fits with the habits of their household?

In mom’s view the son is merely a puritan — basically on the right track, only his zeal is taking him a bit too far.  But in reality, she is a hypocrite because if she believes that there is a planetary emergency then no aspect of her lifestyle should remain unchanged in an effort to reduce her impact on the Earth.  She is the one who taught her son to “care[] a whole awful lot”, and yet she also insists on eating the polluting beef.  The two cannot be logically reconciled.  Environmentalism has no measure.

I can’t say I’m not concerned about the Earth, but the way I’m concerned about the Earth, I’m concerned about the Iranian nukes.  Or the 3rd world migrants flooding into the 1st world countries, many of them nuclear powers — not hard to think up the scenario in which Islamo-savages gain control of the French or the British nukes.  But whether or not my paper plates are recyclable, compostable or reusable?  Please, I’m just going to toss them.

And for the kids I have the following question: If grown ups, politicians especially, insist that you make environmental considerations central to your lifestyle, but they themselves don’t seem to act as if the planet is on an irreversible path to extinction, why do they insist that you spend time of your life thinking about the minutia?  Could it be because they don’t want you to spend your time thinking about something else?

September 10, 2015

Why Trump Is Popular

Filed under: politics — Tags: , , — edge of the sandbox @ 5:27 pm

He’s not bound by conventions, unscripted, an outsider, supposedly, with an aura of machismo, and he hit a nerve with his opening salvo on immigration.  None of which explains why Trump’s defenders forgive his support for partial birth abortion or his hob-nobbing with the Clintons.

I think I have an answer for that, and it’s not because Americans (or conservatives) are stupid or racist.  My answer comes from Maurice Bloch’s Prey into Hunter, a book exceptionally annoying even by the French standards.  I mentioned this book in the past a few times because, even though I can’t stand Bloch’s style, I value his insights.  Looking at the hunting ritual in Africa, Bloch noted that hunters dress like prey and identify with prey in order to then go on an offensive against an animal in a hunt.

It’s not hard to notice similar rituals in the political world.  A photo of a dead toddler washed up on the beach in Turkey is printed on the front pages of Western papers, bleeding hearts identify with the child (the Donald was among them for 5 minutes), demanding opening the borders to “refugees” without thinking through the consequences or even looking into the toddler’s story. (As Peter Hitchens pointed out, he was a victim of human traffickers.)

Back to Trump, when he burst into the race with his common sense remarks about Mexican illegals, the media, business and political elite all but declared a war on him.  The perpetual defenders of the perpetually offended were screaming their heads off; Macy’s was dropping his merchandise, Univision was canceling his contracts.  Any of that could happen to any one of us — if only we were so lucky.  We identified with the Donald, the victim, not the underdog, but the victim; we wanted to stand up for him, we called for Macy’s boycotts.


Billionaire’s detractors can scream that he’s not a true conservative till they are blue in the face; it doesn’t matter.  So many in the base already identified with Trump, the victim — the flashy victim! — and if you are against him, you are against us too, you are the establishment and you are the problem.

How wise Rush Limbaugh is to eschew criticism of Trump.  He abstains, primarily I assume, because he will not attack a Republican presidential candidate, but, I think, he also understands that any such attempt would be counterproductive.

UPDATE: Many thanks to Professor Jacobson for linking and retweeting.

September 8, 2015

Degrees of Unwantedness

Filed under: Europe, politics, Ukraine — Tags: , , — edge of the sandbox @ 1:27 pm

Twenty five years ago I was a stateless person crossing the Austrian border in a sealed train.  Demographically speaking my kind was negligible, but still no country in Europe wanted us.

We had it better than our immediate predecessors. In the 70’s and the early 80’s we, the former Soviet Jews, subjects to Arab terror attacks, were sequestered at an run-down high-rise in outer Vienna — read this beautiful essay by the late Svetlana Boym.  Thirty years later Boym was still reeling from the experience, but not complaining.

I can vaguely remember men with large guns patrolling the platform when our train full of Jews arrived to Vienna. I didn’t find them odd because uniformed soldiers were a normal site on a Soviet street.  Although my parents swear they were IDF, I doubt a sovereign country that Austria was at the time would let a foreign army operate on its soil.  In any event, were were housed in a rooming home in central Vienna, next to an operetta theater.  I walked the streets of the city with three other teenagers whose families shared apartment with us.  We were in awe.

Three weeks later, after declaring our intention to move to the US instead of Israel, we were shipped off to Italy where we stayed on a semi-legal basis thanks to an agreement between the United States government and that of Italy.  My parents were nervous about the trip in a sealed train, but I, in my teenage brain, was looking forward to seeing Rome.  I felt secure in the knowledge that tens of thousands of those who came before me had safely arrived at the destination.  In my head I was already composing letters to my girlfriends in Ukraine, telling the jewels of Western civilization resting behind the iron curtain.  Also, our train went south, not east.  Two cheers for the teenage brain.

I can relate, but I’m not moved by the 3rd world migrants forcing their way to the land of milk and honey.  Syrians among them left a war-torn country, but apparently they don’t feel that the land on which their families lived for centuries was worth a fight.  These military age man opted for reaching Germany; and once they get situated there, they’ll send for their clans.

These men are paying a premium to human traffickers, suggesting that some of the migrants come from wealthy families, and might have unreasonable expectations from their future place of residence.  One can live quite comfortably on German welfare, but this is hardly the kind of luxurious existence one leads in the Gulf States.  When the migrants, who already showed themselves to be quite hostile to Europeans figure that out, what happens?

I suspect European humanitarians have a soft spot for brown children.  They are crying bitter tears for a child that fell a victim to smugglers but doing their best to look the other way when there is a real life war raging on their continent.  Two years ago at Independence Square in Kiev Ukrainians listened to speakers promising them visa-free travel to Europe.  I daresay this, and not any kind of national idea, was the chief appeal of the Euromaidan movement to those Ukrainians who found it appealing.  The way things stand in their country, they travel to Lviv, a city flush with Western architecture, to get a whiff of the West.  Needless to say, it’s not up to Ukrainians to decide what kind of people the European Union will let in within its borders (apparently it’s up to Arabs), so as the war in the East heated up, EU further restricted travel from Ukraine.

Did she dream of Paris? This picture young mother and child killed, allegedly, by Ukrainian bombardment made the rounds on the Russian Internet last year.

The Kremlin, on the other hand, relaxed entry, enabling, according to the official data, two and a half million Ukrainian nationals to move to the Russian Federation.  Not all of them are strictly speaking refugees, many are laborers and a large number are on the run from conscription.  We have to commend Russia on choosing its refugees carefully.  Those Ukrainians are basically Russian people; they share the host country’s language and mentality and quite a few are done with Ukraine.  Russia is a natural choice for them the way Gulf States would be a natural choice for the Syrians.  And yet, had the Ukrainian nationals, for economic or whatever other reasons, fled West, unlike the Arab migrants they’d be indistinguishable within a generation or two.

9/9/15 UPDATE: Wasn’t there a near-riot situation in Ladispoli circa 1987 that got sorted out by social workers by the time the polizia arrived?

9/13/15 ANOTHER VIGNETTE: The Velvet Revolution happened as train passed by Prague on the way out of USSR.  That was cool yet worrisome because during our stay in Vienna we hoped one night to get standing room only tickets the Opera house.  Seeing a sizable number of Czechs pop up on the streets of the Austrian capital, we feared the standing room competition.  We got to the theater early and spent some time waiting in line in the cold.  We did get in, with the Czech, and the two totally amazing creatures that a few years down the road I learned to identify as art school hipsterati.

“What do we want?” “Tickets to Madama Butterfly!” “When do we want them?” “NOW!”

Speaking of which, that being 1989, I found that all young people in suites in Vienna’s downtown business district spotted Mohawks.  Or it seemed that way to me, being fresh out of USSR.  Sweet innocence.

September 4, 2015

Alphabet Bottom Diggers

Filed under: education, politics — Tags: , , , , — edge of the sandbox @ 1:37 pm

I, for one, survived what was then known as a “co-ed” bathroom.  Those were the only ones available at Unit 2 Davidson Hall, an ugly, mid-century dorm where I found myself living when I started Berkeley two decades ago.  So gender-neutral bathrooms are not a new concept, you know.

Things were different then, however.  Nobody on my floor was “transgender” (albeit, thinking back we had one closeted homosexual — no really) and nobody insisted on being referred to in funny pronouns.  That was Berkeley in the 90’s and this is a school in the South today:

Gender-neutral pronouns

We are familiar with the singular pronouns she, her, hers and he, him, his, but those are not the only singular pronouns. In fact, there are dozens of gender-neutral pronouns.

A few of the most common singular gender-neutral pronouns are they, them, their (used as singular), ze, hir, hirs, and xe, xem, xyr.

These may sound a little funny at first, but only because they are new. The she and hepronouns would sound strange too if we had been taught ze when growing up. (Via Victory Girls)

It’s not that “the pronouns” are funny as much as they are off-putting, and if they are off-putting it’s not not so much because they are new, but because they are funny.  University of Tennessee students found them bizarre.  And yet, their professors are obligated to go around checking if any student always felt like a “xem” or, maybe, today it’s a bit of a “zir”.  Hmm…  Is the latter a Martian for sir?

I can sympathize with alphabet bottom ugliness.  I never had to deal with x’s and y’s, but like many other “Russians” living in English-speaking countries, I’ve been a victim of excessive y’s all my adult life.  In lieu of Cyrillic я Eastern European transliterators insisted on a ya letter combo, turning common female names into cumbersome Tanya, Anya and Zhenya instead of Tania, Ania and Jennie which flow noticeably better in English.  And since many of our female last names end with an , quite a few of us gals ended up aya contraptions, courtesy of Soviet/post-Soviet bureaucracy.  Typically, by the time we noticed that our names were spelled all wrong (and native-born Americans were no help, unfortunately) we were already established and it was too late to change.

Ukrainians in particular are the masters of the inelegant.  In the 90’s they insisted spelling Kiev as Kyyiv, which, in their opinion, best reflects the current Ukrainian pronunciation of the medieval capital.  They dropped one of the y’s, thankfully, and Infoukes swears it’s Kiev anyway.  It’s not up to Ukrainians to tell us how to speak English, and even if it was, they should find a more appealing way to promote their country abroad than to make up unreadable words that, in their opinion, are more authentic to the sounds of their language.

Similarly, words chalk-full of z’s and x’s is a dubious way to promote hormonal infusions.  If anything, insistence on applying funny names to themselves suggests that gender dysphoria might be secondary to some deeper dysfunction, and that a treatment for that dysfunction should replace “gender reassignment”.

In any event, the English language already has an English gender-neutral pronoun — he.  “He” can refer to both a man and a generic individual.  It’s a little outdated now, true, but it worked so well for centuries, we should see about brining it back.

And now, from the very top of the alphabet, Adam Ant singing about something at the bottom:

August 31, 2015

My Problem with Carly

Filed under: politics — Tags: , , , , , — edge of the sandbox @ 12:54 pm

She’s the kind of woman someone with my sensibilities finds persuasive, exciting even.  Her very existence is the proof that Hillary Clinton is a fraud, and boy she can argue healthcare and market freedom to TV hosts!  And yet, after being emotionally invested in these issues since O took office in 09, I, like many others, feel that Carly Fiorina’s seemingly heart-felt defense of capitalism is not enough.

What difference does it make that she can mount a persuasive defense of capitalist democracy before the American people if our President can conspire to bring trainloads of illegals and SCOTUS rules that, effectively, non-citizens can vote in US elections?  For all I know, the DC and business elites figured that if they dig in their hills for a few election cycles, Latin Americans will sway US demographics, transforming American citizenry into obedient subjects.

We are bringing the voters legally, of course, via H1-B visas which Fiorina champions.  Those are also largely a Democratic constituency, and it boggles my mind that a Republican or a conservative would want more of them in the country.  Most of the rest of the Republican field are on the same page with her, mind you.  I’m still waiting for them to deflate Trump by taking his signature issue away from him.

Putting aside the fact that new immigrants taking the electorate places I don’t want it to go, I have more immediate reasons to fear high tech immigration.  My husband’s employer, one of the largest in California, is getting rid of the American workers and bringing in the Indians.  Would not even look at American applicants, and not because the locals refuse to take a pay cut.

I never worked in IT, but people who do have been saying for decades that American programmers are still the best.  Foreigners, however, are better employees.  Here’s how my husband explains it: suppose the boss says “We need to move the Statue of Liberty from New York to San Francisco by tomorrow morning.” Americans are socialized to be straight forward.  “Impossible!” they say.  Foreigners say “Yes, sir!”*  Come next morning the Statue of Liberty is in New Jersy, which is, in and of itself, an admirable feat.  Nevertheless, it’s an American guy who’s now tasked with moving the landmark to the West Coast, somehow.

But guess who the management likes — the “Yes, sir!” crowd.  And who is FIorina?  The management.  Obviously what’s going on in tech companies right now can’t go on forever; things will shake up somehow. In the meantime, do we need a president with Fiorina’s blind spots, and, more importantly, doesn’t sovereignty trump business needs?

Than there are the labor issues.  Many foreign tech workers are here temporarily and are willing to work longer hours to take the pay to their home country.  There are very few jobs Americans are doing on which foreigners are not willing to spend more hours. And who loves it? The management.

It’s not just IT that’s affected, but related fields, like graphic design, sound editing — all good, creative jobs for which the middle class blesses their kids to go to college.  And it’s not like there is an excess of blue color jobs for for the native born; in fact, all new jobs now go to foreigners.  Even if there were low skill, low pay jobs left over for our kids, we’d have to admit that if we bring planeloads of foreigners to give them the best jobs in the country, we have a problem…  It’s hard to believe that only a generation ago one could move to San Francisco for the rock-n-roll lifestyle and land a tech job.

Younger Americans are not getting any offers and the older ones get fired.  The Dig Your Own Grave practice, when IT professionals are asked to train their South-East Asian replacements with severance pay held as a bargaining chip, received some media attention this summer during the South California Edison congressional hearings. Workers told the their stories, the lawmakers listened — and then passed Obamatrade with bipartisan support. Meanwhile, Disney instituted the same policy.

So yes, I would very much like to see Fiorina in the GOP debates because she, being a natural sales girl, is perfect at delivering a message, but please keep her out of the Oval Office.


*Indians in particular are refreshingly frank in other ways.  One former co-worker of my husband’s, for instance, wasn’t shy to express her fascination with Ayn Rand at a meeting.  If she’d only knew how many taboos she’s breaking…

August 14, 2015

Ukraine: You Can Take A “Republic” out of The Soviet Union…

Filed under: politics — Tags: , , — edge of the sandbox @ 9:41 am

Ukraine’s been off the headlines lately,* which is exactly how Vladimir Putin wants it.  Not because he’s prepping a major invasion but because he’s counting on a steady deterioration of normal life, and Ukrainians are his best allies in that endeavor.

In the year and a half since the ouster of Yanukovich, the country’s economy crumbled and the Soviet mentality asserted itself.  I’m not just talking about the Novorossia faithful, who imagine themselves refighting the Great Patriotic War,  but the fire-breathing nationalists and the scarredy population.

Since the ouster Ukraine went through several bouts of political repression aimed at dissociating itself from Russia.  Ukraine was formed as a result of confrontation between Russia and Poland and the periodic take over the land from Poland (and the Ottomans) by Russian Empire.  Throughout the 20th century ethnic Ukrainians contributed their talents to Soviet life and culture, which was, in broad terms, Russian life and culture.  The break up of the Soviet Union left Ukrainian state in search for its own identity, something they are now executing in the best Soviet traditions.

Ukraine went through bouts of censorship, banning Russian TV channels and airing of Russian miniseries and film and establishing the ministry of truth to comb through Ukrainian programming. To “combat separatism”, Ukraine banned several publications including one titled Russian Rock and several that had the word “Russian” in it and were dedicated to pedagogy.  Presumably all, at one time or another, included Russian nationalist materials of sorts.

Then there is the law concerning “everyday” separatism, a thoughtcrime punishable by 7-12 years of penitentiary. SBU (former KGB) organized what they call an “information campaign” throughout the South-East urging their countrymen to turn each other in in case they “see something” or “hear something”.  Ukrianian media laughed: Russians are “standing on their ears”, but Ukrainians don’t snitch; they just need to be informed about the consequences.

This poster in Kharkov urges citizens to turn each other in for “everyday separatism”, a crime involving desecration of national symbols or awaiting the return of the “Russian world”

At the time this was happening American Libertarians were concerned with the fate of Ukrainian journalist avoiding draft.

What made the most noise in the West, deservingly, was the law banning communist and the Nazi ideology and symbolism, while simultaneously forbidding the questioning of the legacy of “fighters for Ukrainian statehood”.  The “fighters” in question being, notably, the Ukrainian Nazis of OUN-UPA.  OUN was a standard-issue Fascist organization which originated in the 1920’s and went on to collaborate with the Nazis, participating in the Holocaust and incineration of Belorussian villages.  Their greatest crime against humanity, however, was the massacre of ethnic Poles in Volynya and Galicia.

For reasons mysterious to this blogger Western journalists keep inserting the bit about the UPA (or Banderovites, as they are known in Russian and Ukrainian) fighting both the Soviets and the Nazis in their reports.  I suspect that the journalists are simply lifting from each other’s pieces because most of the literature on the subject is in Russian, which makes it immediately suspect.  But here’s Marc Solonin, a Russian supporter of EuroMaidan, on how there is no reference whatsoever on Banderavites fighting the Wehrmacht.  To the contrary, Solonin says, Banderovites were nothing but obedient German lackeys, fascists and murderers.

Anyhow, the above-referenced Ukrainian law stipulates the removal of all Soviet symbols everywhere, including every red star.  Think Holden Caulfield.

That will pacify the fire-breathing nationalist, right?  Wrong.  The Right Sektor faithful, who always had a rather uneasy relationship with the establishment, marched on Kiev.  The reason behind the stand off was decidedly non-ideological; it followed the division of protection customs area in Zakarpatia, along Ukraine’s Western border.  At the time Zakarpatia governor Vasil Gubal opined that “The distribution of revenues from smuggling should proceed in accordance with the law”.

In the light of all that Poroshenko, who multiplied his wealth since taking the office, popped up in Wall Street Journal to remind us:

“We aren’t demanding that British, American or French soldiers come here and fight for us,” Mr. Poroshenko says. “We’re doing this ourselves, paying the most difficult price”—here his voice breaks momentarily—“the lives of my soldiers. We need just solidarity.”

What he meant by “solidarity” is lethal aid.  That he will need more loans co-signed by the US to keep the country afloat was left unmentioned.

The fact that many Ukrainian soldiers and militiamen paid with their life and limb for the war in the East should not be mistaken for resolve of the country as a whole.  I touched on the subject of Ukrainian draft dodging before; it’s massive. And yet with whatever forces both sides can mount, the war in Donbass can go on for a long time — and this is just like Putin.

At the same time, the war is not about the territorial status of Donbass, a run-down industrial region/buffer zone with an epic Soviet past.  Truth is, nobody needs Donbass, at least not in and of itself, which is why Kremlin signed of on it having a special autonomy status within Ukraine.  The southern port of Odessa, on the other hand, has strategic value.  This third largest Ukrainian city is a destination for our non-lethal military aid.  Its governor and fugitive former Georgia president Mikhail Saakashvili boasted that the US is paying the salaries of his team — the US immediately denied it.

Another problematic area is the highly nationalistic Galicia, or the three westernmost regions which contributed the majority of protesters to Maidan and vote enthusiastically in the post-Maidan elections.  The area is majority Catholic and its economy and culture is more integrated with Poland than the rest of the country.  So what’s the problem?  Russians insist, and I think they might be just right about it, that in the event that Ukraine will be denied EU membership, the area will demand independence, stressing their central European roots, and try to join the EU without the rest of the country.  A Galician autonomy demonstration did take place recently in Lviv.  Putin is known to support separatist movements everywhere.

Anyhow, in the interview above Poroshenko channeled neo-con:

Are you together with the barbarian or together with the Free World?

But Petenka, who are you calling a barbarian? I am a bit of a Rusophobe myself, and I can say lots of unpleasant things about Russia, but Afghan cave-dwellers Russians are not (and Porosh is no Bibi).

Beloved Russian actor Mikhail Tabakov (who is no tool, mind you) recently found himself in hot water after airing of his private telephone conversation in which he called Ukrainians “shabby”.  A song was immediately dedicated to the scandal (say what you want about Ruskies, but they know how to do sarcasm):

Tabakov was compelled to explain himself, and his explanation was by no means original.  Ukraine is cutting its cultural ties to Russia and, as a result, is risking to be left with nothing but peasant blouses.  Ukrainians are quite proud of their peasant blouses, actually; those became a symbol of independence.  In the days following the Maidan victory half the country paraded in peasant blouses.  At that very time Russia staged the closing ceremony of Sochi Olympics during which they flashed the portraits of famous Russians, many of them with ethnic and/or biographical connections to Ukraine.

A shot from Sochi closing ceremony. Front row middle portrait of Kiev-born Mihkail Bulgakov, far left — ethnic Ukrainian Vladimir Mayakovsky

This brings me back to the point about Ukrainians and Russian culture.  Ukraine is a large and diverse country — linguistic diversity only begins to describe it.  What ties together cities as different as Kharkov and Odessa is Russian high culture. And residual Stalinism.

How can Ukraine keep itself in one piece?  If they are lucky, they will get somebody like Pinochet; a dictator to usher in free market reforms, but I doubt this will happen.  Most likely they’ll experience petty oligarchs and petty tyrannies before getting back into Russia’s embrace.

OK, it took me about a month to finish this post (mom’s life) so Ukraine is back in news with speculations of a major DNR/LNR offensive.

August 6, 2015

Dedicated To The Second Republican Presidential Debate

Filed under: California, elections2016, politics — Tags: , — edge of the sandbox @ 8:08 pm

Fellow Republicans, chose your poison.

On a different note, the septologist, observing the dandelions on the dead grass, asks: “Mommy, remember how you told me that if people water their lawns they will be fined?” Me: “Yes!” Septologist: “Well, do they use the money to get more water?”  An 8-year-old can run this state better than governor Brown.

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